


Feelings? Who's She, Never Heard Of Her

by Storytelling_Sparrow



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Already Established Anxceit, Endgame Analoceit, Hurt/Comfort, Logan Catches Feelings, M/M, Multi, Requested fic, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, mindscape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:13:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23298358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storytelling_Sparrow/pseuds/Storytelling_Sparrow
Summary: Virgil and Dee are happy together, Patton and Roman are happy together... but where does that leave Logan?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 8
Kudos: 164





	Feelings? Who's She, Never Heard Of Her

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ElfArmyEnby (Hbbear09)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hbbear09/gifts).



Logan sat on the couch in the commons, book in hand. He was always the first one up in the mornings, and usually the silence was comforting. Being alone had never really bothered him before. He was able to sit and enjoy his book in peace and quiet. But lately, he’d had trouble focusing. Logan would find himself reading the same paragraph over and over. The silence started to feel less like a comfort and more like a heavy weight on his shoulders. Logan didn’t understand it at all. He didn’t know if this was something that could be researched, but going to one of the others made him feel sick to his stomach. There weren't a lot of options, but oh how he  _ hated _ not understanding things.

He stood and stretched in an attempt to clear his head, and as he did so he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. “Hey, Lo. You doing alright?” It was Virgil, still in his pajamas, purple hair mussed from sleep. 

“Virgil, good morning. I’m fine, thank you,” he replied as he sat back down. “Did you sleep well?” Virgil nodded in response and sat on the floor, legs crossed and back against the couch. Logan couldn’t help but smile at his best friend and set his book down on the coffee table.

“Hey L, did you make coffee yet? I’m still sleepy and some caffeine would be great.” Virgil ran a hand through his hair and looked up at Logan expectantly. The logical side felt an unexpected tightening in his chest. He ignored it and said “I haven’t yet, but I can go ahead and start it now. Is anyone else awake?”

“Yeah, Dee should be heading down soon, and I heard Patton singing with Roman in his room so they’ll probably be down in a little bit too. Thanks, L, you’re the best.” Virgil gave Logan an easy smile and there it was again. That pang in his chest. Shoving the feelings aside, he muttered a “No problem” at Virgil and headed into the kitchen to make coffee.

The routine of the morning helped a little: Logan always made the coffee in the morning. The others preferred it when he made it, for some reason, and Logan was happy to oblige. He made just enough for the three of them who liked coffee, as not to waste any. Logan leaned against the counter, taking a deep breath.  _ What was that pattern I always tell Virgil? In for four, hold for seven, exhale for eight… _

He repeated this to himself until he felt steadier, then busied himself with other tasks he didn’t usually do. Water on the stove to boil for Roman and Patton’s morning tea, setting the table, taking out three coffee mugs from the cabinet. It was something concrete and ordered for him to focus on. Logic was what he was best at, after all.

He heard more footsteps and talking coming from the living room. He went to stand in the doorway and looked on. Virgil was now on the couch, head in Dee’s lap. Roman was telling a story from his time in the dreamscape and Patton was watching him with a soft, fond look that he never gave anyone else. Another feeling he didn’t have a name for made his heart ache. Loneliness? Longing? Perhaps even jealousy? No, that was impossible. What reason could he possibly have to be jealous? Just because the others found love and he didn’t? Just because he felt like the odd one out? Just because Virgil and Dee were having a low conversation and Dee said something that made Virgil laugh and they kissed and Logan wanted to—

“Hey Lo, good morning!” Patton’s cheery voice pulled Logan from his whirlwind of thoughts.

Logan schooled his expression into something neutral and nodded. “Good morning, Patton. I went ahead and put the kettle on for you and Roman, and the coffee is ready now."

“Thanks, Lolo, you’re the best!” Patton headed into the kitchen, pausing in the doorway to give Logan a hug that he barely managed to return. Roman followed right after, leaving Virgil and Deceit to their conversation on the couch.

Logan cleared his throat and the two sides looked up at him. “My, my, Logan, don’t you look ravishing this morning?” Dee said, mismatched eyes sparkling with mischief. A flicker of something like hope rose up in Logan’s chest but a sharp voice echoed in his head, shoving that feeling back down.  _ “He’s just in a good mood because Virgil is with him. That’s all. He’s never commented on your appearance before. It doesn’t mean anything that he’s saying something about it now.” _

“I- ah, thank you. I don’t know if you heard me but the coffee is ready.” Logan turned, thoughts racing, and went back into the kitchen before anyone could say anything else. He was being ridiculous. Surely he was imagining things, and this was just a one-time occurrence, and everything would go back to normal soon. Right?

***

The day did not get any easier by any means. Roman and Patton disappeared off into the dreamscape not long after breakfast, leaving Logan alone with Virgil and Deceit. He tried to excuse himself but Virgil coaxed him into staying downstairs with them and watching documentaries. 

He only stayed because Virgil said it was a documentary about space. Definitely not because Virgil was pouting, and  _ definitely _ not because that look in Virgil’s eyes made it impossible to say no.

Which is how Logan ended up sandwiched between his two best friends on the couch, trying and failing to focus on the tv and not on Deceit’s thigh pressing into his, and Virgil’s hand inching slowly closer towards his own. Logan felt like he couldn’t breathe. He wanted desperately to hope that their actions meant what he thought they did, to ask if it were possible to be in a relationship with two people at once and could they please try it, but that sharp, cold voice in his head shut it down again.  _ “In the past, neither have expressed affection for me. Therefore it would not make sense that their feelings about me would change now.” _

The documentary finally finished and Logan took the opportunity to try and leave. “Thank you for inviting me to watch this with you. Now if you'll please excuse me, I really should be going.”    
  


Virgil looked up at him, frowning. He shot a glance at Dee before turning his gaze back to Logan. “Oh, um. Are you sure, we can watch another-”

Logan shook his head adamantly, already heading towards the stairs. “No, thank you.” He was gone before Virgil or Dee could say anything else.

***

Logan spent the rest of the day in his room. He paced back and forth, hands alternating between running through his hair and fiddling with his tie. That had been a less than ideal situation. It left Logan feeling even more confused than before. Patton had come to ask if he wanted lunch, and he declined, claiming that he had too much work to do. He didn’t feel hungry anyways, though he knew he should eat something, at the very least for Thomas’ sake. Despite that knowledge, he couldn’t bring himself to go downstairs, to face Dee and Virgil.

He sat down at his desk and turned on his laptop. He wasn’t really able to focus on anything else but the problem at hand. Perhaps he could do some research on his earlier questions after all. Surely he couldn’t be the only one who had feelings for multiple people at the same time. At the very least, it was worth a try.

He wasn’t sure what to type at first. Maybe information on if it was possible to date more than one person at the same time? He took a deep breath and started taking meticulous notes on what he found.

He worked steadily and didn’t stop until he heard another knock at the door. He ignored it at first, but after a minute had passed another knock sounded. Logan sighed and stood, taking a moment to stretch before he went to open his door. “Patton, I told you I’m very busy, I’ll be-”

But it wasn’t Patton who was at the door this time. It was Dee, dressed not in his usual outfit but a white button-up shirt and a pale yellow skirt. Logan felt heat rise up to his cheeks and he turned away slightly. “Deceit. How can I help you?” 

Dee took a step forward. “May I come in?” Logan stepped back out of instinct and Dee was in his room before he knew it. He sat down on the edge of the bed, smoothing out his skirt. 

“I believe we should talk.” His voice was uncharacteristically soft. Logan closed the door and sat down at the desk, facing Dee. He closed his laptop and turned his notes over. He didn’t want to talk about what he’d been researching. He only hoped Dee hadn’t noticed.

“What would you like to discuss?” Logan asked. Dee didn’t answer right away. Then, in a voice that was gentle yet firm: “You’ve been lying a lot lately.”

The words struck Logan like a blow. He blinked, all train of thought derailing. “I- what? I’m not sure-”

_**“Don’t.”**_ Dee held up a gloved hand. “You know I can tell, right? I just know when people are lying. Mostly I try to focus only on Thomas, but sometimes I just get worried about others enough to warrant checking on them. Roman. Patton. Virgil.” Dee scooted closer and rested a hand on Logan’s knee. “You.”

Logan opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. “Do you-” he started, but didn’t finish his thought. What was he supposed to say? He knew what he’d been lying about. He’d been lying to himself this whole time. He was jealous. He had feelings-  _ romantic _ feelings- for both Dee and Virgil. But he’d been denying it. Or at least he’d been trying to. He gulped and looked down at Dee’s hand.

“I- Can you, I mean. Do you know the nature of said lies?” Logan couldn’t meet Dee’s gaze, though he felt Dee’s eyes on him. 

“Not exactly. All I know is that it’s been lies of omission and that it’s been mostly to yourself. But you lied to Patton earlier, when he came up to ask if you’d be joining us for lunch. I felt it.” Dee gently reached out to cup Logan’s face, guiding him up so Logan would look at him.

Dee’s mismatched eyes were full of concern. “Why didn’t you come down for lunch? Are you okay?” Logan shook his head, moving back and away from Dee’s touch. He didn’t see the hurt in Dee’s eyes when he did so.

“I was doing research and did not want to be pulled away from my work.” A truth. Dee’s gaze shifted from Logan to the desk behind him. Looked at the closed laptop, the papers beside it.

“If I ask what you were researching, are you going to tell me?” Logan didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure if he could answer. What was he supposed to say?  _ “I’ve been researching and I found out I’m polyamorous? I have romantic feelings for not only you, but Virgil as well? I want nothing more than to be a part of your relationship with Virgil? That I love you both?” _

Dee’s gaze shot back to Logan the moment he thought it. Logan bit his lip, his heart racing in his chest. “Dee, I-” 

But Dee turned and sank out. One moment he was there, eyes wide and intense, the next he was gone. Logan didn’t know what to do. He sat at his desk, staring at the space Dee had occupied only moments before. If Dee had heard the admission he’d thought in his head, the logical thing to do would be to tell Virgil. If Dee felt the same way, he would have said something instead of running off. Which meant that he didn’t. Something in Logan’s chest cracked, and his breath caught in his throat. 

A sob escaped him unbidden, and he covered his mouth, desperate to stop it. He wanted to force the feelings down again, but that first sob had been like a dam breaking inside of him. The tears flowed freely down his face, and he cried.

***

“Wait, he  _ what?” _ Virgil’s voice was incredulous. Dee had run right to his boyfriend and told him everything. Virgil almost couldn’t believe it. What had Logan been thinking, keeping those thoughts to himself?

“But we- I mean, we’ve been flirting with him for  _ months _ and he never-” Virgil shook his head. He didn’t know what to feel. Relief that his and Dee’s feelings were reciprocated? Happiness at the idea of dating Logan? Sadness that Logan had been lying to himself this whole time, for sure.

Dee sat next to Virgil, taking his hand. “I love Logan, you know I do. But we both know he can be a bit.. dense.” Virgil nodded, a soft smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. 

“That’s true. Listen, we should really talk to him about this. And it has to be up to him, and at his pace. Whatever he wants to do, whatever he’s comfortable with. No matter what.”

“Of course, Virgil. Here,” he said as he stood, pulling Virgil up along with him. “Let’s go get our man.” 

They appeared outside Logan’s bedroom door. Dee raised his hand to knock when Virgil stopped him. He held a finger to his lips and shook his head. “Listen” he mouthed.

The sound was muffled, but it definitely sounded like crying. Logan was crying. Panic and worry flooded Virgil’s face and Dee didn’t hesitate a moment later as he opened the door. To hell with knocking, not when Logan needed them.

Logan was still at his desk, head in his hands. He looked up when he heard the door open and saw them there, his two best friends. He quickly wiped the tears away and shook his head. “Virgil, Dee, what are- I mean, I…” his voice trailed off. Dee and Virgil came in and were by his side before he had even finished speaking. Dee stroked his hair and Virgil grabbed a tissue from the box on the desk and handed it to him.

“Logan, hey, it’s okay. We’re here now, it’s alright. Just focus on your breathing, okay?” Virgil’s voice was soft and Logan nodded, taking deep breaths in order to try and calm himself enough to speak. 

He looked at Dee first, then Virgil. He wasn’t quite sure where to begin. Why were feelings so difficult? He hadn’t realized he said this aloud until he heard Dee chuckle softly and saw Virgil smirk. 

“Nothing worth doing is ever easy, is it?” Dee asked. He held out his hand to Logan, who tentatively took it. Virgil repeated the motion, and Logan took his hand as well. He gave them both a gentle squeeze before finally finding the courage to speak.

“It would seem that I have… feelings for the both of you. Romantic feelings.” 

Virgil grinned, and Dee’s eyes glinted with happiness. Logan blinked in surprise as they hugged him, and he hugged back.

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that, L,” Virgil said as he gently pulled away from the hug to look at Logan. 

“I am too; it’s nice to finally hear you admit the truth after all these months.” Dee gave Logan a conspiratorial wink. Logan blushed. “I can and yet  _ can’t _ believe it took you so long to realize Virgil and I have romantic feelings for you as well. We’ve been flirting with you for months now. Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?” 

Logan scowled. “Apparently that’s true only when it comes to common sense or things steeped in general logic. Not emotions. But I will admit it seems I may have made a few logical fallacies.” 

He hesitated for a moment but decided to continue. “For example, earlier today when we were watching that documentary. And this morning, when you told me I-”

“Looked absolutely delicious? Because that’s true.” Dee leaned in and brushed his lips against Logan’s cheek. Virgil laughed at the look on Logan’s face and shook his head. “Actually, you said he looked ravishing, if you want to be technical about it,” Virgil said teasingly.

Dee shrugged. “Delicious, ravishing, tomato, solanum lycopersicum.” This made Logan laugh, and neither Virgil or Dee wanted him to stop. Logan’s laugh really was a delight to hear. 

“In all seriousness though, Logan. We do need to discuss some stuff, okay? Things like boundaries and how we want to go about doing this.” Logan tilted his head to the side quizzically. 

“What exactly are you saying?” 

Virgil looked at Dee, who nodded encouragingly. “I’m saying that Dee and I love you, and we want to be with you. But we also want you to be comfortable, so we’re going to do this on your terms.”

“Oh. What does that mean specifically?” Logan studied Virgil’s face intently.

“It means that if you want to start by just dating one of us, you can. Or if you don’t want to date at all right now, if you just want to think about it, that’s okay too. I,  _ we _ , don’t want to make you uncomfortable, or rush into things and cause you to become overwhel-” Virgil was cut off by Logan pressing a soft kiss to his lips. When Logan moved back, Virgil was at a loss for words. Logan gave him a smile, his dimples showing, and Virgil thought he’d melt right there.

Dee cleared his throat. “Well, that was lovely to watch. However, don’t I get a turn? After all, it’s only polite to share.” Logan smirked and kissed Dee as well, just as softly and sweetly.

“I want to be with both of you. We can take things slow, but I love you both. I think we’ve all been waiting long enough.”

Virgil and Dee hugged Logan tightly, and Logan never felt happier than he did in that moment. He felt something in his chest, like his heart was a roaring fireplace. 

It was love.


End file.
